She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
