Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You have to summon your inner elephant
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
