Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
