margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
