I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Text me some of your sweat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
