Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
