I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
