At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize