"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
