i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
