You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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