I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
