Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
