I puked a lego.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
