IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So many bounce houses so little time
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
