Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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