shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
