someone threw a dead crab at me
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
