girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
