You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
