Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
