who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
