u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
