it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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