Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
