She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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