My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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