Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
