apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
