About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
