Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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