I wannas sexs uuuuu
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
