NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
