We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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