and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She told me I should be a condom model.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
