He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
