sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
