I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
