You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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