don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
