my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
