Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
