There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
