I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
