I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
