Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As shirtless as possible
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
