you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
