let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize