is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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