no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
