Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
