Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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