I wish I could punch you in the face.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Acid is not a monday night drug
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
