dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
