Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
