Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
