I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think your dad took our porno
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
