I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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