all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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