Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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