we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize